Review: Two Whole Cakes by Lesley Kinzel
Title: Two Whole Cakes: How to Stop Dieting and Learn to Love Your Body
Author: Kinzel, Lesley
Length: 164 pages
Genre: Non-Fiction, Self-Help
Publisher / Year: Feminist Press / 2012
Source: Feminist Press subscription.
Rating: 4.5/5
Why I Read It: An issue I needed to learn more about, though I was definitely already on the love your body and no dieting bandwagon.
Date Read: 22/05/12
In this book Kinzel takes us through why we shouldn’t hate our bodies, why we should be proud of who we are, and how dieting can be dangerous for you. She talks as well about how we should recognize and love the diversity the human race always has and always will contain. A key premise, which she begins with on page 5, is that:
Your body is not a tragedy.
I think that is such a powerful and important statement. And Kinzel takes us on the often personal and important journey to get to that point. She talks about stereotypes, about fatshion (fashion for those who are fat – because why not, because anyone can be fashionable, but also discusses how hard it can be to find great clothing that fits), and about activism.
While I’m lucky to have a body that fits into many of the standard ‘beauty’ narratives that are currently seen as ‘desirable’ in our culture, the ways in which bodies are sexualized and judged based on arbitrary measures of beauty is damaging to me as well – albeit much less. Because I can’t know what it is like to look a different way in our society, this is why I try to read as widely as I can on topics like this, to listen and to learn.
Our cultural ideology of beauty-as-personal-responsibility contributes to a world in which all bodies are public property, open to criticism, compliment, or mockery, at all times. There is no line drawn between the faux perfection of models in ads and the real bodies of women going about their lives – we are all expected to strive for the impossible, no matter what it takes, and when we refuse, our subversion is punished by social censure. (page 50)
An important point that Kinzel makes again and again is that self-respect and self-esteem are not something that come with a certain look or image, they are things that you have to work for outside of a gym. Also, the human race is diverse – it always has been and always will be. We will always come in all sizes, and simply exercising is not going to make everyone a size x (whatever the desirable x happens to be at that point). Diversity is here to stay, and we all need to learn to accept that, to accept people in all sizes, and to stop with the judgements and stereotypes. Being fit and being slim are not the same thing, and we should be striving to all be healthy, not to all be slim or to lose weight.
The reality is that fat people are often supported in hating their bodies, in starving themselves, in engaging in unsafe exercise, and in seeking out weight loss by any means necessary. A thin person who does these things is considered mentally ill. A fat person who does these things is redeemed by them. (page 140)
I am always frustrated and saddened to see people posting about their new fad diets and weight loss challenges as if they need them to be attractive, and pushing them on others as well. It’s always disappointing to see how our culture affects us all and keeps us all from truly just loving ourselves and striving for health rather than anything else. Finally I feel like I have a book that I can recommend to people as a way to hopefully combat some of the self-loathing and yo-yo fad dieting. Definitely recommended to all.
Thank you for posting about this, Amy! I’ve struggled with my weight pretty much my whole life, and years of dieting have taught me that the amount of effort it would take for me to get down to society’s ideal of what my body should look like would ruin my quality of life in more ways than I can count. We’re talking recording every morsel of food I eat and exercising vigorously for at least an hour almost every day. When I was doing that, I didn’t have the time or mental energy for anything else! And that quote is spot on. When I was dieting, one of my sisters, a counselor, expressed some concern that my dieting could turn into an eating disorder. I dismissed it because I was losing weight and “getting healthy” even though I wasn’t that unhealthy to start with–I mostly just needed to exercise more.
Over the last year or so, I’ve realized that thinness may never be in the cards for me, but healthy habits–a balanced diet with room for treats and moderate to vigorous exercise for a half hour or more most days–are absolutely within my reach. Once in a while, I try to count my calories for a week or two, just to be sure I’m not routinely overeating (because that has been a problem for me in the past), but I’ve given up the dieting lifestyle. It’s not worth it.
One of my favorite blogs that deals with this stuff is Dances with Fat (http://danceswithfat.wordpress.com/blog/) by Regan Chastain. Regan is a plus-sized dancer, and she looks at research into dieting, provides commentary on news articles about obesity, and the discusses the benefits of a Health at Every Size approach.
Thank you for the comment Teresa, and for the link to the blog! I’m excited to check it out. The author of this book also has a blog which has been really interesting so far from what I’ve seen since starting to follow recently.
It’s crazy how much of a push there is to look a certain way, it’s so unhealthy! I mean, as you say, balanced diet and exercise are what people need, not crazy fad diets to try to look a certain way. I’m glad to hear you’ve come to the same conclusion
A fine review of a book dealing with a prevalent issue that is eating almost all big people especially women, up. (no pun intended). ‘Your body is not a tragedy’ how apt and spot on so uplifting.The most important thing we should all keep in mind is to exercise every now and then if not everyday, for about 30 minutes. I have given up on yoyo dieting and have learned to accept my body long ago. Thank you for sharing.
Thank you readinpleasure. That line is one of my favourites as well. The yoyo dieting is really just so unhealthy, it really shows what culture wants – not health, but a look. If it was about health, they would stop pushing these things!
This sounds like an important book. I am so tired of the importance our society puts on looks. It’s time we start valuing the things that are really important in life.
I’m right there with you on that one Kathy!!
I love the sound of this book, and the second quote in particular is amazing and so important.
Isn’t it amazing Ana? It was a great read.
Great review, Amy. These are tough issues that I think we all struggle with, whatever our size, because our society places so much emphasis on looks and body. So even if you’re pretty fit/healthy, these kinds of demons are always lurking somewhere.
Yes, very true Marie, unfortunately.
I totally agree with the sentiments that you express and the ideas that this book seems to highlight. I try so hard not to fall into the conformist “groupthink” that this book is combatting. Yet I found myself surprised when I recently saw a television interview with someone who so looked attractive and seemed to physically meet the certain societal standards when she expressed the fact that she was terribly depressed and had low self esteem. In retrospect I should not have been so surprised. It is amazing how this kind of thinking gets into some of us, my self included!
Yes, it’s always surprising when even conventionally beautiful people think they look terrible, but at the same time, it’s what our culture wants. Those who think they are great how they are aren’t going to be great consumers right Brian?
Sounds like a great book. The quotes are terrific and I so agree with Kathy. We are far too wrapped up in looks.
Agreed Nancy!
This sounds like a valuable book. I think we’ve all been at war with our bodies at some stage.
Too true Stephanie.
Yikes, but true (that quote, the second one that Nymeth appreciated). My first reaction to this post is to shout YOGA! I love my yoga instructor; she is says these things in such a caring heartfelt lovely manner…
Heh your yoga instructor sounds pretty awesome Care!
That second quote is so true. And so sad. Thanks for reviewing this Amy. I’ll be looking out for a copy.
Hope you can find one Iris!
This sounds like a book that should be in all houses. Too much focus on the numbers and not on health and fitness. I have met some very unfit skinny people. I admit I need to lose weight in order to get my blood pressure down. I try to get lots of exercise and don’t let my size stop me from doing the physical activities I want to. I had to chastise one of the teenagers in my car last week who was going on about being a size 8. I stopped that line of conversation by telling her that size is only a number. That started a new, and better conversation.
That sounds great, Heather, your conversation with the teenagers. So few parents / adults are willing to say things like that it seems, just letting things go on or actually encouraging it. It’s sad really. I wish you luck with the blood pressure.
“I’m lucky to have a body that fits into many of the standard ‘beauty’ narratives that are currently seen as ‘desirable’ in our culture. . . . Because I can’t know what it is like to look a different way in our society, this is why I try to read as widely as I can on topics like this, to listen and to learn.” This outlook is direly needed and applies to so many things. Beautifully put.
Thank you Sarah. I wish more people had it too